Sunday, January 20, 2013

On the Roller coaster

 This life is a roller coaster of ups and downs, good and bad, ecstasy and heart ache.  The world of cancer throws a whole different spin on what you thought your life would be.  As a parent watching your child fight cancer, the ups and downs are sometimes so severe that it's hard to catch your breath.  It's so hard to describe unless you experience it for yourself, something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.  While most of my energy is focused on Austin, just being in this world of cancer means that every other child's battle is personal.  It's a very special, exclusive club that we belong to.  I cry (and cry and cry...) when another child relapses, when a new diagnosis is made, and especially when one of these precious babies finally exhausts the fight and earns their angel wings.  My heart breaks for those parents.  I can't even watch a commercial on tv about childhood cancer without bawling like a baby.  This week was difficult in that I am struggling with Austin's roller coaster but also that of so many other children.  This week I learned of a sweet boy that has relapsed and has gone home to enjoy the time he has left with his family, a new diagnosis of ALL with a 2 year old, and finally the great news that a little girl has continued to be cancer free.  See what I mean by roller coaster?  I don't think my heart can take much more.  Austin is struggling with the side effects of steroids.  He has had a lot of pain.  It's so hard to watch and be unable to fix it or take it away.  I feel so helpless.

We have had so many wonderful friends and family that lift us up and help us feel loved.  I thank all of you from the bottom of my heart.  We couldn't make it without you.  Thank you for supporting us during this roller coaster.  Some day it will slow down and we will be able to get off.  Until then, we thank you for riding along with us.


  1. You are so amazing Amy!! Your family is forever in my thoughts and prayers, just reading your struggles and seeing the pictures make me smile and some make my heart ache for all of you. Austin is such an amazing boy!! Very brave and courageous! You all should be very proud!! I know I don't know what your dealing with however I am here for you and your family, I may live in Washington however miles don't matter...hey, I'm close to the beach if you ever want to come up! Its cold, yet fun! Hang in there and know that Heavenly Father loves you all so much!