Hair Cut

Today was one of those days that we knew was coming but were not really prepared for.  We knew Austin's hair was going to fall out from the chemotherapy, but it was still a shock to me to see clumps of it on his pillow, on his clothes, in the bathroom sink, etc.  I have been trying to joke about it, to prepare him for it so it wouldn't be a surprise.  I offered to make a mohawk out of his hair and paint it blue or green but he wasn't down with that idea.  Finally I couldn't take seeing the hair everywhere (I told him he was shedding as bad as Hershey).  I told him we were going to get it buzzed but that he could choose who was going to cut it.  He said he wanted a real barber.  I'm pretty sure that is a jab at my not-so-excellent hair cutting skills, but I agreed and we found "Bob's Barber Shop".

Austin thought this was funny because Bob's place is small and has one chair.  He said that if anyone else came to get their hair cut they would have to wait for Bob to be done with him.  I told him Bob must know what he is doing since he has a striped pole and everything!

 It was harder than I thought it would be to watch Austin's hair come off.  After all it's not like we haven't buzzed his hair many times before.  It's just that it felt that the leukemia was manifesting it's hold on Austin.  Until now we could go out in public and no one would know that anything is wrong.  Now when you see Austin, his bald head will scream his diagnosis for all to see.  Now I don't care what other people think, I am worried about what others will say or do to Austin.  Kids especially are brutally honest and not always kind.  I want to shield him from any unkind words or actions.

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My challenge now is to build up Austin's confidence and self worth so much that any unkind words will just roll off his back.  I want him to know that no matter how he looks, he is still Austin.  He is still my intelligent, sweet, amazing boy.  The hair will grow back one day but until then we will love him all the more just the way he is.